When You Need to Rest
“Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.” – Mesut Barazany
I can be a “grumpy bear” when I am tired. Ask my partner. If I have not had enough rest for 2 or three days, I lose my ability to cope. My brain sort of freezes up and I can’t think straight. I avoid interacting with anyone because I don’t have the energy. It’s an awful feeling, one I used to have several times a month, thankfully now only once every few months. At such times, everything that is not going well seems huge and insurmountable. Insecurities and self-doubting thoughts seem real and true. However, the true problem is that I just need to sleep.
There are certain times of day when my body/mind needs more rest. An afternoon nap can be wonderful but is not always possible. I find that a 20-minute meditation gives me the equivalent energy of a nap and keeps me going through the evening. Often, though, I just need a mental or physical break after sitting in one place, forcing myself to do a task I’m not interested in, or staying super-focused for hours on something I enjoy. (I’m revealing ADD tendencies, here which make the need for breaks even more relevant). Rest can include stretching, walking, enjoying nature, or having a cup of tea and a snack. It can be stepping away from responsibilities to other people and getting alone time. To the extent that I am able to detect what kind of “rest” I need at any given time, I can arrange for that to happen.
What happens after I rest? I become instantly happier, more peaceful, focused, motivated, and easier to live with. Because feeling rested has such a strong effect on quality of life, let’s look at it more closely.
How can you tell you need more rest? Here are some signs:
1-Feeling tired at the beginning of the day
2-Difficulty managing frustration and anger
3-Speaking or acting out in ways that don’t fit your personality
4-Dragging yourself through the afternoon
5-Trouble focusing
6-Forgeting things you usually remember easily
7- Intolerance for change or interruption
8- No energy to interact with people
9-Head, eyes, and/or body feels heavy
When you identify that your body/mind needs to rest, be kind and give yourself what you need. A short nap (no more than 20 minutes) can be lovely, if you have the time. Otherwise, close your eyes for five minutes (use a timer) and do a body scan. Start with your toes and work your way up to the top of your head, pausing to invite each area of your body to relax. This exercise has the added benefit of bringing your attention away from whatever you were thinking about, so your brain can rest.
Lack of sleep can interfere with every aspect of life and exacerbate stress reactions. If you're not getting enough sleep, change up your evening routine. Add restful activities, reduce exposure to negative news and social media, and create a sleep schedule that allows for 6-8 hours of sleep most nights. Think how you would help a young child get to sleep and do something similar for yourself.
Try This: Resting on Purpose (adapted from Rick Hanson’s “One Thing” newsletter, January 2020)
Choose one or more of these happiness-building strategies for feeling more rested and motivated:
1-When you first wake up, remember that you are choosing to get up- maybe to focus on a goal or do something you're looking forward to.
2-At the start of a meal, pause to really notice the food and feel grateful.
3-Pause several times a day to notice you are alive and breathing. Inhale and hold, exhale and pause several times.
4-Plan a short time each day to do “nothing”. Imagine placing your worries and responsibilities in a locked box. Sit or lie down in a quiet space and breathe naturally as you repeat this phrase: “I’m doing my best and I’m ok”
5-Negotiate with the people you live with so you can arrange to be “off duty”, for at least half an hour a day. Do whatever you feel like, with no other responsibilities.
6-When you're tired, pause and ask your body, “What kind of break do I need right now?” Your body loves the attention.
7-Do guided meditation, using a free app. You can set an alarm as a reminder, choose an online guide, and relax as you listen.
Tell me what helps you rest. If you are struggling to get enough sleep, talk to me.
